Friday, November 11, 2011

What I Learned From a Broken Leg...from Feb. 2010

-There actually IS pain worse than childbirth
-NEEDING to use crutches is nothing like the fun of "playing" with someone else's
-duct tape really hurts when you have to peel it off your skin after a hot shower...and the ritual of plastic garbage bag wrapping and unwrapping almost isnt worth the comfort of a bath
-it is very uncomfortable(and unladylike)sitting in a bathtub with one heavily casted leg propped on the edge of ur tub
-the simple task of carrying an item thru the house, is made virtually impossible
-a plastic grocery bag tied to ur crutch, altho looking "tacky", is indispensable...but will not hold a drink or a plate of food...it will hold however..toenail ointment, nasal spray, medical tape and a thermometer needed by a nurse's patient(me being that nurse)
-what was once easy is now a chore...and that is just about everything
-sweatpants or "comfypants" with wide legs, do not make a woman feel very pretty...especially if she is swinging like an ape, and has a huge florescent green foot
-cutting slits in the favorite hip-hugger, bell-bottom jeans, is totally out of the question...rather to look like the goofy lady in the funny stretch-pants til its over
-It REALLY hurts to stand on one leg ALL the time
-a broken bone will mess you up financially if you are the breadwinner in the family
-the scooters at Walmart are not the easiest things to learn to maneuver
-Christmas popcorn displays hurt when they hit your head and back
-ice and snow does not mix well with fiberglass casts..HOWEVER it IS possible to clear ur car of several inches of snow while on crutches...how bad do you want ur job??(this varies for everyone...personally I find my job rewarding and worth my time and effort...even if struggling with alotta extra crap)
-help, when you are incapacitated, is worth its weight in gold...however...i've found that a woman likes and NEEDS to do what she can to sustain the home.....it would behoove you to honor that
-being served meals in bed is nice...also, being brought drinks, pain meds, things to look at and read.....
-you can become a movie connoisseur in a relatively short time by watching every DVD and video in the house
-hopping around on your one existing good leg, will ultimately result in the straining(or worse) of said leg
-everyone under the sun, even complete strangers, will tell you the story of their broken ankles
-your first time sneaking out to the store, to actually select, purchase, and then struggle to get into ur car, your items...will feel like CHRISTMAS MORNING!!
-your kids(hopefully...mine did) WILL step up to the plate to do for themselves what they are used to you doing for them
-EVERYONE YOU MEET warns you.."Dont walk on it. My Uncle so-n-so did and his leg was screwed up for the rest of his life!!"
-you walk on it anyway
-you get used to spending lazy days off work, and actually secretly enjoy it...but at the same time you are going nuts to get back to your routine
-when the cast comes off you swear you have never seen "that" persons leg before in your life!
-its VERY insulting to a youthful feeling women, to not be able to point her toes on that damn foot!!!

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