Tuesday, July 30, 2013


                                                                I hate the stupid head games the younger crowd plays
 "I don't want you at all, then so much on other days"
                                                      They say they need their space and there's reasons why they do
And while they're gone another guy says "she's my girlfriend too"
When I was young I really thought the pain in love was bad
                                                             but looking back I see that puppy love was what was had
                                                        And I went through a lifetime learning how to play the game
and learned that love and playing just is not the same
I hate the crazy hurtful games the younger crowd does play
                                                           "I don't want you most of the time, but I sure do today"

What I Hope...

                                                                                            What I hope...

                                                                                   I'm so hoping he has done
                                                                            something he thought might be fun
                                                                               irresponsible, uncharacteristic
                                                                               a certain kind of weird artistic.
                                                                                  took off just to get away,
                                                                              Turning our sunny skies to gray
                                                                                And he'll be back at any hour
                                                                             And everyone can yell and hollar
                                                                              be mad for his inconsideration
                                                                         of their feelings for just a millisecond
                                                                            and then the hugs come after this
                                                                            The tears and joy and jubilant kiss
                                                                             Cuz can't be mad for this is fact
                                                                                We only wanted Jesse back......

                                                                                         KMQF 7/26/13

Monday, July 15, 2013


Meditation #1

Negative things...like objects, thoughts, situations and people, are like a demon knocking on your door. When you open the door just a crack, you give it a chance to get it's foot in the door, and if you don't push it back and shut the door, negative usually does not trickle in, but instead gushes into you with force, like water pouring into a boat through a hole someone poked there...and the hole grows, and the water has the power to overcome you much faster than you can bail it out. Once you've nearly drowned you must swim to shore and collect yourself, get grounded, come full circle back to positive thinking, before you can venture out again. But like getting directly back onto a horse after you've been thrown, you also can not waste time...must not wait. For the window can close quickly trapping you in feelings of despair. This is what I've learned...and this is what I will overcome. Strength is needed to keep that door closed...even if you have to throw all your weight against it, and the weight of your family and friends, and your faith, stack it up in front of the door like hundreds of pieces of heavy furniture. But however you accomplish it, you must succeed...or the battle is lost...

Meditation #2

It's important to surround yourself with positive wholesome people ONLY...
people you never catch in untruths,
 people who you can feel the vibration of their good character from.
 Learning to develop your intuition and then trust it....
above all, if people show they are not the positive energies that you need in your life, 
you must do all you can to weed those individuals out. 
our bodies, 
souls, minds and spirits, 
are all forms of energy and vibrations...
keep them high

Friday, July 12, 2013

My Wise Thoughts and Quotes

                                                                           I hate it when I think I'm getting strong, 
                                                                                  and then all it takes is a song, 
                                                                         to surround and envelope me in memories, 
                                                                   and within moments all I see is blur on the outside, 
                                                                                 all I see is his face on the inside, 
                                                                                and my face becomes the canvas 
                                                                                       for a pallet of colorless, 
                                                                                                  salty tears

In a hidden world of imperfect people,
the imperfect are perhaps
the most perfect of all...

If I only had time in my life for a man...
man, I'd make only time in my life for you...

Feeling so safe yet so in danger...
Like a storm cellar
with a lockless door...

I think its funny how different music tastes scare different people...
mine do to...
my hard rock scares my mother
my Celtic scares my older son
my rap/hip-hop scares my older musician friends
my Greek and Indian scares my younger son
and my classical...it scares all of them.

Sometimes, rather odd occurrences, situations and conversations, lead into other tiny moments in life, that become beginnings of major changes. Sometimes you also become so intuitive about yourself and your surroundings, that you can almost sense this happening directly in the moment. It can be enlightening and even frightening, but it is also an awesome and unexplainable thing. It is almost on the split-hair other side of premonition...

Life is crock full of rules just waiting to be broken.
Some are even begging...

Moments make memories...moments make more...promises and tangled intentions get misinterpreted, but sharing moments means memories no one can say are wrong...

Life and relationships
are indeed an evolution
a continuing circle of relevance
a journey not to be taken lightly
but to be respected
in all full semblance of time.
Not to be continually questioned
yet at times necessary to be so done.
Pain and pleasure walk together
its true
but I believe we have passed
the apastron of our path
and there is one direction now to go
Toward wherever fate carries...

Never wait too long, or take too much time, deciding how you feel about something or someone. Life is a merry-go-round, and if you keep waiting to lean out to try and grab that golden ring, it may be that when you come around again, it is gone....

I love to paint pictures with words...the more intense a moment, a day or week, a month becomes, the more the colors spew forth, hues dark to light, from the palette in my mind, to the brushes of tongue and hand, onto a pale canvas made colorful, decorated with my deepest emotions...

You can't stand in the road of love, which is a human being's most powerful force, whether between man and woman, friends, or mother mother and child. Selfless love is the most pure...when you are as willing to take a needed step back, as you are forward. Far be it from me to ever become an ol' Grimalkin...

There are few things in life that feel nicer than to have someone else care about what you love and do best, what your talent is, your passion, how much you throw your heart into something, to recognize it and tell you it's special :-)

Falling  asleep often does not come easily...sometimes the mind wants to continue down the track like a train, even though the body needs a layover at the station...

Sometimes you must put off the inevitable for as long as you possibly can, and clutch onto the beauty of innocence, knowing that some decisions you resolve to follow through with, have the divine power to change everything...

Saturdays just seem to be my deep-thinking days...when I go over the week past in my mind and either rejoice or fume in despair, or waver somewhere in between, over things that happen or were said. Saturdays seem to be my day for writing...for thinking fearlessly...meditating...wondering...seeing truths. Saturdays are my creative day...

Recipe for success:
Inspired by Nathaniel Mitchel
"Stay on course,
fly high above the clouds,
get to outer space,
walk the moon's surface
cliff note it now
begin the process
Finish what you started
Believe you will achieve."

If only there were a delete button to erase away words said, actions done, and feelings had...
but the human mind holds details like a timestamp...
memories remain to remind us how each moment looked, felt, tasted. 
Nothing can change what is past...and nothing can allow it to leave.
Memories are the only thing on earth that no matter how far they travel away in time, the closer they become to us...

Regarding love,

there is a simple truth:

The longer you've stayed with those those who've hurt you,

The harder it becomes

to trust those who love you...

" I don't care if I'm poor in a monetary sense..
been poor all my life...
it's nothing new. 
But never have I been as rich as I am when writing a poem, 
guiding a wee hand through an arts n craft, 
or listening to my love in the next room strumming a tune and singing. 
These are the things dreams and happiness are made of. 
These are what life is REALLY about. 
This is wealth."



So I've been writing poetry and lyrics, musings etc, all my life, since I could hold a pencil literally. Recently through exposure to friends in the rap/hip hop scene though, I've been trying my hand at a more "rap style" writing. Now I've ALWAYS liked rap, so long as its more clean than dirty, but even though I've always loved that rhythmic expression of thoughts and ideas, I never considered trying it. I think my first tries aren't really too bad...in fact I've been told they are kinda good :-) I'm putting them here together...

Ever wish in retrospect
that you put out your neck
and took a chance you maybe shouldn't
because you really prolly couldn't
and then you felt you realize
that if you're really very wise
that you should not regret
cuz better things are coming yet
coming if you wait
take a breath and fate
takes care of everything
under sun
for everyone
and maybe even you

Haterz be haterz
I just say
See ya laterz...
We dropped this
We got this
aint no one can ever
pop this!!

Was thinkin it was me...just me...fallin down and down...
and feelin it might be him, felt like he's about to drown.
Says i'm the one who's like a puzzle
but he's an even bigger riddle.
Thinkin I can't figure out
not seein what his hearts about
Feelin he wants just to protect me
but yet always tryin to dissect me
droppin clues like bombs on me
kinda really scarin me
When I say "Fuck Love" it makes him mad
but if I show it he's so iron-clad
Exactly who is falling here
I dont know, its so unclear
I know its something strong and sure
but i just dont know anymore
We both reach out but then recoil
yet somehow knowing we are loyal
What is this we' enough timere faithful to
a mystery maybe, and very true

I love when we talk tandemly
and you say things so randomly
you knock me out to easily
and rock my world incredibly
and all of that without the touch,
the feel,
of being next to you
The power surge electric charge
the lightening flashing hottest blue!

Tired yet wired
keepin jets fired
somehow or no how
too much to do now
not enough time
panic mode, 
make a rhyme
keep the old
slap notes together
light like a feather
all day this way, but hey
mold language like clay
I guess whats next
always perplexed
eyes still open, or closin
I better get movin
seven days til I'm groovin
inside ima shakin
my heart is quakin
gotta get through it
hafta go prove it
I know I can do it
cant back out
wanna shout
let me out
sorry I said it? I am?
no, I meant it
gotta make time
to rhyme like a chime
write it down, play it out
get it ready, kill the doubt
build it up, send it up, drink it up
the fear, the pride
the smiles, tears dried
success is comin
no more bummin
I'll be ok
work on it today
be happy tomorrow...


Without love and complete acceptance of each other, of human kind, in all forms...even those not in line with your own beliefs...without love between all mankind as well as animal-kind and nature, and this earth that we've been lent and trusted with...we are doomed as a small and insignificant and ignorant species on this planet.  We think we are supreme...special...in a position to judge others.  How far from the truth!!  We only show our ignorance and stupidity when we live by these doctrines.  Let this be clear...this earth has a very delicate balance, and mankind in their so-called intelligence is destroying everything.  This is spiritual truth...you can debate all the social issues you want, and you can preach your religious scare-tactics until you are blue in the face...the truth is very basic if you clear your mind of human "scribble."  We are to take care of one another, the earth we've been trusted with, and the plants and the beasts...until we pass...not into a false hell or heaven, but into a supreme spiritual existence that our loved ones, and everyone we have ever left a positive mark upon, will always feel surrounding them. Our legacies are made now and are what we live on in....


30 MINUTES to 50

In one half hour I will turn (cringe...>*<) 50! My dad passed at 49. I always had this odd feeling I'd die same age as him. This year of 49 has been a beacon-post all of my life. But, I guess the fretting was for naught. It's time to believe in my own beauty, ability, talent. It's time to rock this new decade of my life and make it the best! I'm healthy, have healthy kids, talent in my family and friends, projects begging for my attention, and best of all a youthful feel on the inside and look on the outside. I'm proud of me!! I can do anything!! I love my life and the people in it...especially those who have been a special inspiration to me...I thank you....



-17 year Cicada renewal

The Cicada nestles in the cool earth
until some mysterious inner body clock
announces time for change.
Time to escape the ground
and make the journey upward,
to shed its skin,
and begin the truly living, but short portion
of its life.
Through song
with Mother Earth
and trees,
the ultimate wisdom keepers.
True symbol of renewal,
and dedication to carrying on
through patience and persistence.



Like a screenplay...
Like a soundtrack...
Like a song...
Like a sonata...
Like a concert...
Like a movie...
Like a poem...
Like a rhyme...
Like a novel...
Like a fairytale...