I Am That Child

I am that child

The one torn between people I love

"Mommy didn't mean that, Daddy"

"Daddy doesn't mean that, Mommy"

Words between people

Situations

Bitter tears

A tragic merry-go-round

Ending in an end.

I am that child

The one listening

but not wanting to hear

The one crying when no one is looking

The crying no one wants to see

or validate

Peacemaking

dragging her feet desperately trying

To make it end.

I am that child

The one smiling

pretending it doesn't hurt

but feeling the sting just the same

Caught in the middle

confused

unsure but sure

loving yet despising

eyes darting to and fro

waiting for an end.

I am that child

Fearful of trusting

yet trusting too much

Exhausted by thrown words

thumbs crammed into ears

The same pain

from long ago

here and now

Like something that never ends.

I am that child

Fragile at heart

feeling betrayed

yet moving on

Seeing what's not spoken

feeling what isn't explained

Allowing the outside

to hurt my inside

In the end.

-K.M.Q.F. 5/17/15