Friday, February 21, 2014

Later Love



Later Love

February 21, 2014 at 5:43am
It's funny about new love when you're a tad older. It amazes me how a brand new romance can feel the same at fifty as it did at fifteen. The butterflies, the breathlessness, the heady feeling day in and day out. The anxiousness to be together and the sweet sorrow at parting. Just when you think those experiences have escaped you, you find with sheer delight that the battered, bruised and worn out heart in your chest, can still pound with frenzy at the touch of his hand, glance of his eye, sight of his smile and mention of his name.
Older love does have its unique differences though. Rather than under the watchful and critical eyes of parents, your new beau is being monitored by your children. Just as it was with mom and dad, there's still an underlying fear of falling short of expectations.
There is no curfew as the rules are your own for the making, however you really still aren't free at just any old time at all to pick up and go. You've got big girl responsibilities now...major ones.
But remaining the same will be the feeling of the stolen kiss out of sight of others. The need to hide it does not exist anymore, but the excitement it brings indeed still does.
The older romance has a bittersweet tone... celebratory in that the hope for everlasting happiness is not lost, however knowing when you look adoringly at this man you love, that what stretches out before you both is a remainder of your lifetimes and not seemingly endless ones. You are conscious of the bitter fact while watching him converse with your children, that you and he will never share the tender moments of first seeing and holding your own infant together.
But love remains grand and glorious, and especially pungent when you'd given up hope of ever finding it again. After resolving and later accepting that you never were going to walk hand in hand on the street with a partner, or spend the evening in a lover's arms again...
Yes this love is bliss. 

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