Dark Fortress

Oh to lie here in the darkness

with you in my mind,

Wandering halls of a huge fortress

with so many unlit rooms.

My memories,

like old paintings on the walls,

in rooms I dare not enter.

How is it I can remember 

a circle of birds above my crib,

and footsteps in the hall,

but not the sting of first being slapped by a man?

Why do I recall

the summer sound of rope and link

clanging against the flagpole,
but not the first time being violated as a child?
The rooms are filled with blackness
that only I can illuminate,
but can't seem to light a candle.
The match burns, 

but the wick won't catch.
And moments when a flicker

 lights up from the hall,
its too painful
and dreadfully sad,
and I squeeze my eyes shut.

Shut so hard they water 

and burn
like the flame is within them.
Running... 

Running...
 flames licking at my feet.
A child trying to escape.
Maybe another day...

K.M.Q.F.
1/27/14