Sunday, August 20, 2017

UNFILTERED





Today
Hiding as if a criminal
Faint heart pounding
Tiny frightened rabbit.
Rhythmic knocking
Deafening noise
Go away...
Fear and guilt are present in all things
Like minerals within water
There is no filter.
I'm not well...

-KMQF
8/18/17

Saturday, August 19, 2017

THAT












An absurd viewpoint...
How important is it?
Supposed to be growth..
Sense...
Instead I ponder how short life really is...
To waste smiling when you feel like killing...
To forego the most passionate experiences because someone somewhere dictates...
Fools...
They can't even begin to know...
What i feel, what i want...
I don't even know myself most of the time.
I only want to be touched.
And with meaning...

-KMQF
8-/19/17

RAIN KISS







We evolve,
Revolve...
Drifting through moments, days, weeks, years...
Flashes of light and dark.
Glimpses...going back...
Remembering the warm yellow glow...soft roar of conversation...
Watching with beating heart...smiling.
I called him most beautiful creature...turned up nose and soft curls...
Kissing in the warm summer rain in the halo of a street light...
A time in my life gone now...
But never...
no never forgotten.

-KMQF
8\19\17

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

POSITIVE RAP




Tired yet wired,
keepin jets fired,
somehow or no how,
too much to do now,
not enough time,
panic mode,
make a rhyme,
keep the old,
slap notes together,
light like a feather,
all day this way
but hey,
mold language like clay,
I guess what's next,
always perplexed,
eyes still open,
or closin,
supposin
I better get movin,
seven days til i'm groovin,
inside I am shakin,
my heart is quakin,
gotta get through it,
hafta go prove it,
I know I can do it,
can't back out,
wanna shout,
let me out,
sorry I said it, I am?
No I meant it,
gotta make time,
to rhyme like a chime,
write it down,
play it out,
get it ready,
kill the doubt,
build it up,
send it up,
drink it up,
the fear,
the pride,
the smiles,
tears dried,
success is comin,
no more bummin,
i'll be ok,
work on it today,
be happy tomorrow...

-K.M.Q.F.
7/13/2013


SIDE-VIEW MIRROR





The world is a dangerous place, 
not only because of those who do evil,
but because of those who look on and do nothing.
Always check the side-view mirror, 
for they are closer than they appear.

NIGHT THREAD





The night is an endless unraveling of midnight blue thread, 
the painful dissemblance of the day's tapestry loop by loop, 
revealing truths around you blind to the eyes in the glare of day. 
And as if attempting to flee capture by our own shadow at dusk, 
we vainly step no where as our feet sink in the hopeless muck of night, 
our minds overrun with the sadness and horror, 
hundreds of rats flowing like filthy water through a sewer. 
If we can find rest for just a moment 
while clinging to the last shard of light that disappears connecting to the first one that arrives, 
we will have remained sane for just one more day.
-K.M.Q.F.
8/1/16 4:21am

Friday, July 28, 2017

MY RESPONSIBILITY





I can only control, and am only responsible for, my own thoughts, opinions, words and actions.
I am not responsible, nor can I control, the thoughts, opinions, words and actions, or REactions, of others.
Admitting and accepting this fact can only help me. Allowing others to hurt me by what they do or do not do or say, is foolish. I don't deserve that, but it's ultimately up to me to enforce what touches me.
-K.M.Q.F. 6/29/17

WHAT PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO HEAR







What People Don't Want to Hear
I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
I may even say things you don't like,
that you disagree with,
or that make you angry.
I don't care
I'll still say it.
No one will ever separate me from my own truth again.
I say what I'll do and I do what I say.
If I'm not going to do something,
I wont bother saying I will.
Empty intent angers me.
I don't speak
Without meaning.
No one around me
will ever take more from me than they give again.
K.M.Q.F.
7/11/14

FIT KEY





Your hand fits in mine
like its made just for me
In the lock of my heart
You're the only fit key
My forehead goes nice
In the crook of your neck
And our lips pair just right
When I give you a peck
There's a spot to the side
Of your shoulder and chest
Where my ear likes to hear
Your heart's beat when we rest
From our heads to our hands
Bodies length to our feet
Every part like a puzzle
Pieces perfectly meet
Our thoughts even do it
I read you, you read me
In the lock of my heart
You're the only fit key...
-K.M.Q.F.
7/27/14

Friday, March 25, 2016

TESTS




And so the tests of love go on. 
Tests, always tests. 
And always for me it seems. 
Forever dodging and forging. 
Nothing ever stays simple for me. 
Never easy. 
No matter how basic I try to go 
or how I attempt to keep it...
always something. 
Even in supposed perfection there are those areas that demand flaws. 
In the pit of my tummy 
and in my silly lovetorn heart, 
fear rumbles...bile...
threatening to spew. 
The test of love being in all the tightness of my clutches, 
can I set the bird free. 
Not only release him 
but even send him off with kisses and fanfare...
because that would be what's right for him. 
The shell ive fortified long ago to house my lifeless heart, 
will remain awaiting its return. 
In tears and agony I can go on. 
Perhaps i should have known what foolish game I played...

ELEMENTS





And then it happens...
that moment when you fold;
You've worn out your tough mask...
Worn during this stronghold.
You've displaced many bricks...
In your "nothing can touch me" wall.
Determined to take or give nothing,
Now giving completely all.
First an opening where love could peek in,
Then allowing him to pull you through.
Now here he is...this creature,
of the most fascinating, beautiful hue.
Who's so very much more passionate
In so very many more ways
Then you'd ever imagined a man to be,
On the strings of your heart he plays.
His mind, his soul, his body...
A man able to stir in your heart
every single emotion that lies there
both together or when apart.
Who can probe your mind, make you think about things
In a way you've never before.
He can coax a smile when your mood is low.
He is able to unlock your door.
But he can also entice you
into a moment of frustrated rage
with word, opinion or attitude.
Then just as quickly turn your page.
He can caress the depths of your soul
With a simple smile and touch.
You'd never have ever believed tis true
How you could love someone so much.
He will focus with stubborn intent
on whatever task he's involved...
and even your presence oblivious to,
until the problem resolved.
But just like that, he circles back,
reassuring in his love.
You fit heart to heart in a precious hug
like a hand fits into a glove.
That moment you fold, confess your need,
with emotion that makes you weep...
You tell him you can't ever let him go,
and this love is one you must keep.
Then with a kiss to your forehead, 
with eyes gazing  into your own,
He tells you his love will always be strong,
His devotion to you he's shown.
And later alone, quiet, tender time
when your deepest love you share,
As he holds you breathless you truly know
he's your water, earth, fire and air...

-Kathleen M Quinn-Farber
 11/17/14

Dramatic Exit




I had the most awful scary thought.
You said you were in love with me
that you'd be back the next day.
But you haven't called or text in over a day.
Haven't answered.
I'm getting the silent treatment...
Not even a returned I love you.
You said many things to reassure me that night
While you made your dramatic exit
speaking in metephors
missing only was a background score.
Only this isn't a movie...its my life.
I am able to give time and space
As much as you need
Because I love you.
But a haunting thought lurks...
Were the promises and assurances told only to get out the door?
And is that how easily it can be done?
Just spoken like cold lines in a script...
Then you're gone...
And if so, how will I ever trust again?


-K.M.Q.F.
12/15/14

I Am That Child




I am that child
The one torn between people I love
"Mommy didn't mean that, Daddy"
"Daddy doesn't mean that, Mommy"
Words between people
Situations
Bitter tears
A tragic merry-go-round
Ending in an end.

I am that child
The one listening
but not wanting to hear
The one crying when no one is looking
The crying no one wants to see
or validate
Peacemaking
dragging her feet desperately trying
To make it end.

I am that child
The one smiling
pretending it doesn't hurt
but feeling the sting just the same
Caught in the middle
confused
unsure but sure
loving yet despising
eyes darting to and fro
waiting for an end.

I am that child
Fearful of trusting
yet trusting too much
Exhausted by thrown words
thumbs crammed into ears
The same pain
from long ago
here and now
Like something that never ends.

I am that child
Fragile at heart
feeling betrayed
yet moving on
Seeing what's not spoken
feeling what isn't explained
Allowing the outside
to hurt my inside
In the end.

-K.M.Q.F. 5/17/15

The Glass Wall





There is a glass wall
where people look in
and they see what you say
but dont feel what you feel.
Like a two-way mirror
they think that they know
but they don't really know
what you feel
They are not in your skin
or your heart
or your soul
and they just dont know...

-K.M.Q.F.
5/30/15

FRAGILE




Fragile
like the powdered wing of a butterfly
that crumbles so easily under just the slight touch
of even a gentle fingertip.
Love can be so full of strength...
like a wind that is difficult to walk against,
or a gush of water that pushes your hand away
when all you want is to catch a bit in your palm.
But love is a delicate tapestry
strong,
yet so weak.
Hearts once resilient with youth
grow tattered like a flag flown too long,
And like a tattered flag,
even though meaning so much,
can fall to threads.
Love is a fragile puzzle.
It is different for each of us...
the way it plays out,
the paths it takes.
No one's missing piece will fill the spot in your heart,
and no one's definition
fits your love...
Love is fragile.
It is not to be judged
or solved
or completed
by anyone but you and whom you have in your heart.
To allow anything
or anyone
to force their puzzle piece into your empty place,
means the crumbling of a butterfly wing....

K.M.Q.F
5/23/15


This is Wealth




 I don't care if I'm poor in a monetary sense..
been poor all my life...
it's nothing new. 
But never have I been as rich as I am when writing a poem, 
guiding a wee hand through an arts n craft, 
or listening to my love in the next room strumming a tune and singing. 
These are the things dreams and happiness are made of. 
These are what life is REALLY about. 
This is wealth."
-K.M.Q.F.
5/21/14

Scattered Laundry




...and sometimes I want to just gather him up 
like scattered laundry outside, 
blowing across the yard in the wind...
simply heap all of him in my arms...
take him inside, 
and tell him he is home now...

Stainless Steel Sinks



                                                                        400 years after the final demise of humankind, 
nature will have all but reclaimed its entire earth 
and the only evidence of us left littered across the land 
will be old cell phones 
and stainless steel sinks...

Returning is Joy



Although i have a quite different view...of religion and spirituality...than some of my conventional Christian friends...i have the core belief that Jesus was one of the wisest men to ever walk the earth.
The parable of the prodigal son...
True...
Sometimes one strays from what matters most...but it is never lost forever.
Returning is joy.
Welcoming open arms are bliss.

Return to self...
Because life is full of distractions...but if you listen to that voice inside, it tells you where you must go.
Only the most courageous are brave enough to comply...

WRITER



So what this all actually means, 
I've just realized, 
is that I've gone from someone who writes, 
to a writer...
from a person who should "write a book" as I've been told countless times through life, 
to a published book author...
from a girl with a dream, 
to a woman who makes dreams concrete. 
But most of all, 
it means I've set off down a highway and am entering the heavy traffic now via my unique on-ramp. 
I'm not wandering a country road anymore. 
Writing is transforming from something i like, 
into something i can't stop. 
Something i crave. 
Something that i must commit to now daily...
like a marriage...
like a child...
it becomes part of who i am forever....